The whole week has been nerve wrecking. I was constantly checking for more spotting. Yesterday I didnt feel comfortable with what I was seeing so I called the drs office after literally giving myself an anxiety attack during the day. He had me go right in. I wished more than anything the nurse said it was nothing to worry about, but this office is better than that. They want to make sure its nothing, before they confirm its nothing.
I sat in the waiting room for what seemed like 50 hours ( probably closer to 45min). They squeezed me in and I dont like when I say this office is always full of preggos (hence the name Dr Vajayjay). I was screaming in my head "JUST TAKE ME NOW!!" Why would you let me wait when I called in with concerns about spotting? I looked around and thought to myself, "There may be others here for that very same reason. Just calm down"....
She finally calls me in the back and I tell her what I think I see. She said she would scan me first and then he would be in to examine me.
She starts to scan me and jokes around saying "You know with those kind of numbers, you could very well be having twins"....My heart literally started pumping like crazy. If I could have taking the wand and started searching myself I would have. "Twins?? My mom is a twin" Then She sees a sac..ONE sac with an adorable little yolk sac measuring exactly what it should have 5w2d (actually supposed to be 5w1d and there is physically no way for that to be incorrect lol, so I guess a day ahead already). She then jokes saying 'Well we just have one sac, but there is no telling if twins can be in there next week when we do the scan for the HB"
I dont think its twins. I mean what I think doesnt really matter, but the progesterone is high because of the supplements and the HCG is high...well because its just high. It wasnt far off from my son's pregnancy or my daughters. Funny thing is they always thought 'twins' with my girl based on numbers.
He comes in and examines me and tells me there is and was absolutely NO blood!! NO old blood, no new blood...NO blood!!! Its a mucus that is forming from the cervical membranes common in pregnancy in some women. Of course I would get this because I am a science project. I felt SUCH a relief. I think I asked him about 5 more times if he was sure it wasnt blood..."*Insert my maiden name* THAT was not blood. Its very healthy and natural and a sign of pregnancy. Nothing to even worry about"....YES!!! Finally, something normal!!!
I told him how Ive been so much more scared this time. How I cant imagine how I will get through this again. He said to me "this pregnancy is going to be a piece of cake" *I cut him off* "Piece of Cake?? For who? For you? For ME its been nothing but anxiety and stress and Im only 5weeks!! How will I get through this??" And then he confirmed (not that I needed more), why I love him "You will be here weekly. We are going to be on you like a hawk, like usual. And if you need to come more. Come." I told him how Ive been afraid to do my regular activities. How afraid I am to hold my son or go food shopping. He told me that was insane. My body doesnt need any restrictions like that and to go home and pick him up!
I left feeling so good! For now. We cancelled tomorrows appt because since we seen a yolk sac yesterday we knew it was too soon for the HB so the appt is set for Thursday. Thursday is also my appt at the other drs for the same thing, so I may just reschedule that one for the following Tuesday. That will calm my nerves in between.
I fell in love all over again. As if I couldnt love this little pineapple anymore...I couldnt help but hug my belly and smile when I got in the car. It feels more real today. And I know from my other two, the reality will settle in more and more as I get to 'know' this baby too. Please...sounds ironic to say pray to your pineapples.BUT if you are a friend of mine pray this baby doesnt die too. thank you.
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